Sunday night, I sat in front of my computer. I sat down and intended to write my blog post for Monday (we’ve already established that I’m a night-before-publishing type of blogger). What was I doing instead? Clicking from Facebook to Twitter to blogs and back again across the stream of 20+ tabs open in my browser.
I wasn’t inspired to write.
I could have written about teaching my first two real yoga classes over the weekend. But, I choose not to because I would have focused on the self-doubts blooming in my head instead of the overwhelmingly positive experience and feedback I received from teaching. I would have nitpicked and I would have given the impression that I was unsure as yoga teacher – not exactly the picture of confidence that I am trying to portray. So I didn’t write and I didn’t share.
She talked about the tendency that many people have for Fakebooking and carefully cultivating their life and persona online through meticulously arranged Instagram photos and the perfect Facebook status in order to project a certain image.
More than anything, she made me think about why I choose not to blog about my classes over the weekend. I mean, you would think that teaching your first two yoga classes would be blog worthy material, right?
We’re constantly telling stories and crafting narratives about ourselves, our identity and our lives – from our seemingly “perfect” lives and families to insecurities (I’m not a runner. I’m not a writer.) to successes (I’m rocking my face off). I didn’t share my doubts about teaching yoga because I’m supposed to be confident and nailing it.
The stories that we tell through words, in-person or social media (and that others tell about us) are layers or veils that we drape over ourselves. The more we hear these words, the more we begin to believe them and the more that they obscure our true selves – our truth.
I’ve mentioned before how I often feel like a hypocrite. Through my writing, I like to share the joy and the bliss, the challenges, the setbacks and the lessons that I’ve learned from life experiences in a real and honest way – but I don’t always feel like I’m being 100% honest. That I’m not sharing my whole truth.
While stories can be veils, I believe that they can also help us connect back to our truth and to others. If we can connect, then we can support each other.
Carla and Tracy, through her beautiful post that I shared on Friday, have made me realize even more that if we open ourselves up to being more vulnerable, maybe – just maybe – we can all find a way to let a little more love in and figure out a way to lift each other up more.
I started to experience this during yoga teacher training. I began to feel the layers – the deep layers – start to crack open within me and strip away.
There’s so much that we can learn from each other and so much that we have to offer each other.
In Carla’s words:
What would happen if
one womanan entire Tribe told the truth about their lives?
I can only hope the world would split wide, fantastically, and authentically open.
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