Bedazzled Bras

 

I wore just a bra for all of the New York City metro area to see.

OK, maybe not exactly in person but a photograph of me wearing a decorated bra appeared in the New York Daily News over the weekend. (<< click the link for the picture although I’m not really sure that I want you to see it.)

I’m participating in the inaugural MoonWalk NYC this coming Saturday. It’s an overnight power walk through Manhattan and participants do it wearing decorated bras. The Daily News wanted to do a story about the event and profile some local people who were participating. After speaking with the reporter, she asked if she could send a photographer over to take a few pictures of me and my husband (who’s walking with me) and I said sure.

MoonWalk NYC bra

MY DIY bedazzled bra. Clearly, someone should not have given me a glue gun.

I assumed that she just wanted a couple of nice photos of the two of us holding up my decorated bra. I didn’t really think that I would actually have to wear the bra. I mean, wearing it on the night of the event IN THE DARK is one thing. Wearing it for a photo that would appear in a major local news outlet? Something entirely different.

Somehow, my husband encouraged and convinced me to do it.

Knowing that the photographer felt my anxiety and self-consciousness, I figured that she would be nice and just shoot me from the bust up, maybe showing a little bit of my bare stomach but not much. I mean, it’s not like I “prepared” for this i.e. I didn’t stop eating crap or work out more intensely.

Well friends, it’s a full body shot. Had I known that was the case, I would have at least put on shoes and not be standing barefoot on my balcony. Maybe I would have stood a little less awkwardly. Maybe I wouldn’t have worn neon orange shorts either but I think that the least of my worries. At least I’m wearing a cardigan.

When I first saw the picture, all those familiar feelings of body hate started to bubble up. I immediately began to criticize the photo, my body, me.

As much as I think that I’m more secure in my body and that I appreciate my body for all that it can do, it’s these moments when the feelings surface so acutely that give me greater clarity on how I really feel. When those feelings bubble up – whether self-criticism, frustrating, fear, anger or joy – I know that I need to pay attention to them and what they are telling me.

I still have mixed feelings about the photo and baring my belly publicly. It’s taken me the better part of a day to feel OK with how the picture turned out. I was going to write something about what I learned through this experience (aside from the fact that I need to practice more self-compassion) but what can I say. This is still very much a work in progress for me in terms of feeling comfortable and confident with my body.

P.S. I don’t and didn’t intend this post to be about call for compliments or anything like that. I was honestly surprised by my reaction and wanted to reflect on it a little. I wasn’t planning on writing this post.

P.P.S. I received a complimentary entry for the MoonWalk NYC and asked to spread the news about the event and to share my experience at the event. While this post is not technically sponsored, it part of my experience. I’m not sure that Walk the Walk America was necessarily expecting a self-reflective post about me in my bra :-)

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Comments

  1. says

    It’s funny, I clicked on the link to see the photo, then read the rest of your post and had to re-open the link because I couldn’t figure out what in the picture could have triggered feelings of body hate. You look beautiful! We are always our own worst judges. Very, very brave of you to appear in the Daily News in a bedazzled bra and you should be proud, especially of the message behind it!
    Gabby @ Marathons and Macarons recently posted..Chocolate Chip Raspberry Peanut Butter Muffins – VOTE NOW!My Profile

  2. says

    C, you and the body that you house are beautiful. I don’t think there is anything more beautiful than seeing your body doing yoga. I went to the beach today and felt those same demons saying “I’m not good enough, the twin skin belly that I hate is horid, etc” I know exactly how you feel, but they are all lies we tell ourselves! You are gorgeous!
    Lisa @ RunWiki recently posted..Joy and Hope take effortMy Profile

  3. says

    I totally get it! I would have been the exact same way. No matter what, I am my own worst critic. I think it’s human nature. In my opinion, if you are going to be in the NY Daily News, why not in your bra?? :) You look great friend!
    Angela @ Happy Fit Mama recently posted..Hips Don’t LieMy Profile

  4. says

    Oh friend, first of all I think you are absolutely stunning and your beautiful soul radiates out through your physical beauty as well (I’m sorry–that sounds so hippy dippy. Perhaps I’ve been in Portland too long? But the thing is I really believe it to be true!). That being said, I completely understand those feelings, and I think almost all women, and most men have had the same thoughts at one time or an other. The most important thing is acknowledging it, realize you don’t deserve that criticism, and taking the time to reflect. I would be PROUD to be up there looking so strong, and I just think the world of you, lady!!
    Ari @ Ari’s Menu recently posted..Drink & Dish: Orange Creamsicle CookiesMy Profile

  5. says

    I promise I am not blowing smoke up your neon-shorts-covered behind – you look fit and happy to me.
    And your bra is lovely (in another context, this would be weird to say, right?).
    Alison recently posted..Cake For BreakfastMy Profile

  6. says

    Agree with all of the fabulous ladies before me! You’re rockin’ that bedazzled bra like nobody’s business!

    We are definitely our own worst critics, and I think we all have a warped view of what we truly look like. Body image is something we all struggle with, and I have yet to meet a woman who is entirely comfortable in her skin.

    Embrace that picture! How cool that you were featured in the NY Daily News and for such a great cause!

    P.S. Your hot glue gun skills are awesome. Love the floral theme to your bra. Makes me think of Hawaii!
    Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama recently posted..Sturdy Girl Sports Bra GiveawayMy Profile

  7. says

    First of all, I know you’re not fishing for compliments but you look GREAT! You actually look relaxed and your body is perfect – nothing wrong there at all. Second, I completely get where you’re coming from and probably every woman on the planet can relate. I think it’s great that you’re really taking the time to reflect on just why you’re feeling this way. Maybe it’s enough to just acknowledge it and move on. Enjoy the walk – it sounds like a great time for a good cause!
    Allie Burdick recently posted..SWIM. BIKE. RUN. WON!My Profile

    • says

      Thanks Allie. I really do appreciate your kind words. I do think that it was important for me to acknowledge that I was having these thoughts and feelings rather than just pretend that I didn’t and then feel more uncomfortable the night of. I ended up feeling pretty proud the night of the walk :-)
      Christine Yu recently posted..Like Mother, Like SonMy Profile

  8. says

    ok
    so
    I am resisting the YOU LOOK AMAZING remark and heading right into you ARE AMAZING and I COMPLETELY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
    Fitbloggin fashion show in my BRA?! The most awkward thing Ive done EVER.
    and the most exhilarating when it was over.
    Miz recently posted..Maintainence isnt sexy.My Profile

  9. says

    I get it…I would have a hard time with it too…but chickie you look awesome!!! One day we will stop being our own worst critics! Great job on the bra!

  10. says

    I love it…you look natural and awesome…even relaxed, which from your post, I know you were not! Good for you on many levels for being a part of this.

    NY offers so many neat opportunities and I love that you jump in and take part!
    misszippy recently posted..MAF test day bluesMy Profile

  11. says

    You did a great job of covering up any anxiety that you felt during the photo because you look CONFIDENT. Like said above, we are always our own toughest critics and no matter how much work, progress, NSV’s we make, there is always that little root of fear way deep down in us. In my opinion, this was a perfect test for you (or for any of us). Catching us offguard and baring it(all or not), are the hurdles that we need to reassure us that we are making progress! >3
    beka recently posted..26 Things BackAtSquare0 Wants to KnowMy Profile

    • says

      It’s funny because I don’t think that I was anxious while she was taking the photos because I kept thinking that they couldn’t possibly use a photo of me in my bra! haha. Guess I was wrong. It did catch me off guard. I’m glad that I did it. I think that it was a bigger step for me than I realized at the time.
      Christine Yu recently posted..Like Mother, Like SonMy Profile

  12. says

    You look amazing!! Aren’t we always our worst critic.. but I so understand since I am on my I Am Enough crusade at age 55!!! At least you are learning much younger than I am! I so get this: This is still very much a work in progress for me in terms of feeling comfortable and confident with my body.

    I think it is a HUGE step that you posted this for us!!!!!! YES TO YOU! YOU ARE ENOUGH!
    Jody – Fit at 55 recently posted..Gratitude Monday & Being Present TimeMy Profile

  13. says

    I always appreciate your honesty- I would have struggled and felt the same way, but I love what Miz said- rather than saying you look amazing (which you do) – I want to affirm that you ARE amazing. And your genuine, vulnerable, honest, reflective personality gives you an even deeper beauty than photos can. xoxo
    Laura @ Mommy Run Fast recently posted..Two Magic Words for Running and LifeMy Profile

  14. says

    I love the idea of this walk – how cool. I wish I lived closer so I could join in. Although I have no beddazled bra to speak of. You look great but more importantly you are a great human being. And more confident than you think – to share that with all of us who would never have otherwise seen it… Let us know how the walk goes.
    Amy @ Mommy Rodeo recently posted..Mommy Fail Fridays…My Profile

    • says

      Thank you Amy. Believe me, I debated a long time about whether or not to link to the article or just vaguely mention that it appeared. But if I’m going to lay it all our here on the blog, I need to be honest and real. Thank you. I wish you could have joined too!
      Christine Yu recently posted..#tastethevibrationMy Profile

  15. says

    Great pic! I understand your unease. My husband took a yoga pose pic of me on vacation that revealed more of my shape than I wanted to see. I’m feeling rounder lately.

    Just think of that bra as a surfing uniform; surely you’ve worn one that covered about as much skin, and you had a blast doing it. Does that help? You look radiant and lovely.
    Arah recently posted..Crater Lake National ParkMy Profile

  16. says

    As a photographer, I would probably have done it differently than she did. As a blogger though, I would have done what you did – posted about it. I don’t have to look at the above comments to know there are probably people telling you how great you looked. If so, I agree wholeheartedly. You look amazing. And if not, which I’m sure isn’t true, let me tell you – you look great.
    However I look at photos of myself and cry. Convenient for me that I’m often behind the lens.
    Tamara recently posted..Peek-a-boo.My Profile

    • says

      Thank you Kim. In general, I don’t like seeing myself in photos but after reading that article about the mother staying in the picture, I’ve been trying to make more of an effort, especially with my kids, and to not criticize how I look. It’s hard sometimes but I’m glad that I did this.
      Christine Yu recently posted..#tastethevibrationMy Profile

  17. says

    FAB post! FAB pic! wish I looked that great! A pal of mine has done the Moon Walk twice…wish we did something like that up here. There is something empowering about fun events like this. THey make you feel GREAT!
    Keep bein Awesome!
    Tina G recently posted..Sinister 7 countdown….My Profile

  18. says

    I felt the same way when I stripped off my shirt in my last race, all this critical language came bubbling up and I realized something else was going on. Good for you for sharing and writing about it, it is something that should cause us pause. We should be more accepting and generous with ourselves and less critical. PS. Love the blue hues on your decorated bra, so cute!
    Sarah @runfargirl recently posted..Why I RunMy Profile

    • says

      Thank you Sarah. I actually remembered your post and it encouraged me to write this one. Yes, when all that critical language started bubbling up, it was a big sign that something else was bothering me. And thank you. I saw the blue fabric and was immediately drawn to it!
      Christine Yu recently posted..#tastethevibrationMy Profile

  19. says

    also — i am with you about the body confidence, and i’ve blogged about this myself before (also not trying to elicit compliments). It’s scary. Every time I think I’m happy with myself, something comes up and reminds me that I’m not quite there yet.
    calee recently posted..27 will be a great year.My Profile

    • says

      Thanks Calee. It’s a ongoing process, isn’t it? All the critical thoughts that bubbled up kind of surprised me because I haven’t really been that critical of my body lately (I don’t think). It is scary to put this out there but am glad that I did. And that’s awesome that you do Bras for the Cause at work.
      Christine Yu recently posted..#tastethevibrationMy Profile

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