I walked in the front door and made my way upstairs to the studio. Yoga mat next to yoga mat neatly lined up across the room. There was an opening towards the center of the room, close to the wall – generally where I like to be in case I lose my balance. I nestled myself into that spot, set up my water bottle, towel and blocks.
I sat down and looked around the room. Everyone seemed to be in easy conversation with each other, old friends and neighbors. This was their weekly coffee date and time to spend together. The teacher walked around the room and greeted everyone by special nicknames, bestowed by him, and full hugs.
He moved to the center of the room and started calling out a series of poses. It was a very prescribed sequence. This is not the class you come to commune with your inner self and explore the nooks and crannies in your body and mind. This was a physical practice. And a part of me, loved the challenge.
After class was over, people rolled up their mats and resumed the conversations that they had started earlier or made their way to see a friend that they hadn’t spoken to yet. After I gathered my things, I walked by the teacher, smiled and said, “Thanks for a great class.” As I turned to leave, he stopped me and said, “You’re really strong. Hope to see you back next week.”
Sweat – It’s liquid awesome. << Yes, yes it is.
Ever since I left that yoga class this summer, that statement has been sitting and stewing in my mind – “You’re strong.” Was he surprised that I was strong? Because of how I looked or because I was a woman? Was he not expecting me to be? Did I not look strong?
Strength has been something that I’ve had a hard time embracing. Maybe because it’s something that I don’t expect of myself. Mental fortitude and strength to handle stressful and hard situations – yes. But physical strength?
I’m not supposed to be strong and have muscles. When I receive a compliment about my strength or how my arms look, my first instinct is to brush it off and say, “Oh no no. Not me.” Why is that? Is it because my strength is really my insecurity?
My mother always questions why I work out several times during the week and why I lift weights. She’s also the one who has told me not to wear sleeveless shirts because my arms don’t look good. Maybe that’s why there’s a little part of me that smiles instead when people complement my arms.
I’m still not sure why that comment has stuck with me so long.
Do you have strengths disguised as insecurities? How do you receive compliments?
{Linking up with Shell from Things I Can’t Say for Pour Your Heart Out}
I believe with all my heart that we are all stronger than we think we are – especially in the areas where we feel “weak.” for some, that weak manifests as physical and for some, it manifests as mental or emotional – but from a yogic perspective, they are really all interconnected anyway. If you’re strong, you’re string. period. And for the record, could you look any more awesome?
ilene recently posted..Costco Diva
Love this and thank you. I too believe that we are stronger than we think but I guess what I kept coming back to was even if I believed that, why did I keep coming back to this place of insecurity and why?
Christine, your arms are so awesome! I want to be ripped like that!!!
I’m not sure what to think of this. I’m not sure what strengths I have hidden as insecurities. I have always thought that for the most part, our greatest strengths are our greatest weakness. For me, I’m a crazy extrovert and love people, which can be a wonderful strength…till my friendly energy wears others out, or till it makes it hard for me to get my work done!
Becky @ RunFunDone recently posted..What Exactly Does one do with Tofu?
Thank you Becky. I’m trying to work on accepting the compliments because yes, I’ve worked hard for those! I too have always thought that our greatest strengths are our greatest weakness too. It’s all intertwined.
Compliments are hard for me. I don’t accept them well, and I tend to view them skeptically, waiting for the hidden agenda hiding behind them.
I need to try a little of what you are doing. Your arms look great!
Tracie recently posted..Hope Fills My Life
I’m very much the same way. I always expect a level of sarcasm underneath the compliment. I’m trying really hard to just take things at face value and to stop reading so much into things. And thank you!
This is really interesting I’ve never thought of the overlap between strengths and insecurities. I also think that being physically strong and mentally strong can be so connected, one can feed the other. I think the yoga teacher was saying you were strong in physical ability and presence. Probably not a judgment based on an expectation that you are weak. And giving off strength as a character trait is a very positive thing!!!
I hadn’t thought about it that way – the idea of giving off strength as a character trait. That’s interesting and I’ll have to think about that a bit more. Thank you for that.
Wow, great post! I think I would react similarly if someone I didn’t know referred to me as surprisingly strong! I still remember the first time someone called me ‘thin’ a few years ago after losing all my weight. It was one of my students and I thought she was being mean. Then I realized she was being genuine and my mind was totally blown!
Erica { EricaDHouse.com } recently posted..Halloween Decor Explosion
It’s funny isn’t it? I think that I tend to expect a sarcastic comment or something but then when I realize that someone is actually being genuine? So unexpected. I guess it’s a way of protecting myself against the potential sarcasm and being hurt.
I am really bad at taking compliments. I don’t know where it comes from but when someone compliments me I always feel the need to negate the compliment. Girl you are strong and you should own it! (And I’m working on taking my own advice
)
Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie recently posted..Buying My Wedding Ring
Yay, that urge to negate the compliment is hard to resist! But I’m working on it so I will just say thank you
You are right, confidence in oneself is needed to be successful in this world.
Wayne recently posted..Wednesday Hodgepodge
You are absolutely right. It’s something that I’m getting better at but still struggle with.
I am strong but I don’t necessarily look it and so I often surprise people when I say I ran a marathon or attend the vinyasa 2 classes. Just yesterday my dentist said, “I had no idea you were athletic,” when I told him I ran the marathon this year! I sometimes wish someone would notice my strength without me telling them. The grass is always greener?
Martha @ Running in Mommyland recently posted..Fall and Winter Gear Goodies
Grass is always greener, you are absolutely right! I know exactly what you mean about people noticing your strength without having to tell them. I guess that’s partly why I was taken aback? It was one of the few times that someone has noticed without me saying anything which led me to wonder why others don’t always notice.
Christine you push your limits and the Yogi may have been complimenting both your physical and mental strength that he saw during the class. You probably didn’t back down or give up on a pose (it sounded like you hadn’t been to this class before) and he respected your effort and strength you exuded. Sometimes people see beyond the physical traits, but the way you work out and from what I have read you are someone who has both
.
Harold L. Shaw recently posted..Trust Your Training
Thank you Harold. I have some great role models who I’m following
Great, thought-provokng post! From what I can tell, you are a strong woman inside and out. I think the instructor recognized this and welcomed your addition to the class. Compliments are hard for most people (me included) and I’m here to tell you it’s a compliment well deserved!
misszippy recently posted..The discipline to pace
Trying not to blush or to deflect your compliment. Thank you. I appreciate it. Why are compliments so hard to take??
I am the same way with compliments, if someone says “hey, awesome run today”, I sort of think “yeah, it was kind of slower than I would have liked, but I did okay, I guess” even knowing I gave it my all and I am proud of myself, it is hard to show that sometimes. I totally get what you are saying. I need to learn how to take a compliment as well. And your arms, they are pretty amazing!
Dawn recently posted..Low Calorie Portabella Mushroom Cap Pizza
Thank you Dawn. I know, why is it so hard to acknowledge our accomplishments publicly even when we our proud of ourselves internally?
Amazing, isn’t it, how YOGA connects our mind, body and spirit? I think in yoga sessions, we are very aware of everything, every comment, every action, everything. I think the comment was in appreciation and awe of who you are. To some, strength is beauty. Perhaps he saw not only your outer strength but your inner strength too.
Katie @wishandwhimsy recently posted..A Day FULL of Challenges | WIAW
Yoga is pretty amazing, especially the mindfulness that I leave the mat with. Thank you Katie. I really appreciate your comment on this.
Hate to say it…but this is one of the rare times momma is wrong. Strong is sexy and healthy. You’ll live a long healthy life with those muscles!!
Brad Gouthro Fitness recently posted..Food Wars: More About Coconut Oil
Oh man, my mom doesn’t like to be wrong! lol. Thank you and totally agree that strong is sexy.
You are strong both mentally and physically!
Kierston recently posted..WIAW: Fitness Competitor Friendly Potluck!
Thanks Kierston!
It’s interesting that you would feel ambivalent about your physical strength. I think it’s a great and wonderful asset. I’d love to be recognized for my strength! I’m constantly curling my arms and showing off my biceps for anyone who will look. (Even though my muscles are teeny.) I think as you get older, strength is more of a valued characteristic. (Yes, I’m waaaaaaaaaaaay older than you are!
Jen {at} take2mommy recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: My Stick Figure Family
Totally feel ambivalent about it because I do love it. I love working out and becoming strong but I guess there is still a part of me that doesn’t want to be recognized for it? Maybe because it surprises me that I’m strong and fit?
PS – There’s no way that you could be that much older than me! I’m older than I look
Fascinating post, Christine. I think often when there’s something we’ve worked on, we don’t notice our progress (in any area of life). But others do! That’s great that the teacher gave you that feedback. We all need encouragement. Hopefully his words are sinking in and you’re starting to believe that, yes, you are strong!
Laura @ Mommy Run Fast recently posted..Appetite for Life Cookbook Giveaway
Definitely. When you’ve been working on something for a while, you’re stuck down in the muck and it’s hard to see the larger picture. I think his words just kind of caught me off guard but I am trying to let them sink in more.
There was a time people would comment on my “guns”. I’m still not too sure what I thought about that, but it’s been a while. It’s been a while since I’ve had those “guns”. Honestly, I can’t wait to get them back!
Michelle recently posted..Portfolio Building Session #1 – the Good, the Bad and the Beautiful!
Maybe it’s just the word “guns” that I object to?
You ARE strong! I could see it in your arms in that picture, totally fierce. And strong in so many ways. Sometimes we need to hear it simply stated that way to really let it resonate. I love this story!
jobo recently posted..Numbers and dates.
Thanks Jo! You are absolutely right – something we just need to hear it from someone else (and not just family and friends) in order to really hear it. It’s funny, after I took that picture, I looked at it and surprised myself I think.
How crazy is the timing of this post and how I commented on your Instagram yoga pose photo yesterday? You are all strength! If I was built like you, I would never be on the constant search of longer tops to cover my bum in my yoga pants or shirts cut a certain way to cover some of the week spots in my upper body.
Seeing your strength makes me reach for my own! xo
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The timing is crazy. I’ve been thinking about this post for a while but had forgotten about it. Then I saw your comment and knew that I had to write it. Yes, when I saw your comment I wanted to run and hide but thank you. I’m humbled. I still look for shirts that cover my bum and shirts that are cut certain ways. It’s all a work in progress I guess?
I have always been, and will probably continue to be, terrible at accepting compliments. Maybe one day I’ll improve, but I doubt it.
Cat @ Breakfast to Bed recently posted..Freak.
I think I’m in the same boat but at least I can blame the asian thing
I think many of us can be our worst-critics. Well, for me, I’m second only to my mother. HA!
Maybe a new mantra for you should be “I am strong” when you are meditating. Say it enough and you might start believing it too.
Excellent post!!
Kelli @ Momma Needs a Beer recently posted..I *heart* Autumn
OMG my mother totally is my worst critic! Does that come with the job description?
I love that idea of a new mantra. I will have to do that. Thank you.
i think that generation had it all wrong. TO bad. Cause you are strong, inner and outer strong. It shows through the depth of your words, your encouragement, your ARMS!
lindsay recently posted..Tuesday Truism
Thank you my dear. I totally agree. My mom on the other hand…
The biggest compliment is when people call me strong, a beast or just fit. I love it and it motivates me to workout harder. I hate how the world’s ideal woman is someone with weak skinny-fat-ish arms or just no muscle in general. I’m so proud of my muscles!
Katy recently posted..Just Live a Little, Will You?
That’s the funny thing – I totally agree with you and hate the skinny-fat-arms thing and I do love my muscles so it struck me that I felt weird about the instructor’s comment and why it’s kind of stuck with me.
Great post and interesting topic! I love when people call me strong, it’s one of my favorite compliment
Caroline recently posted..One giant step
I LOVE this! I love that this yoga instructor’s word stuck with you for so long. It’s amazing what the practice can do for us! You are strong!
Whitney @LiveRunLoveYoga recently posted..What I Ate Wednesday! Spooky Snacks and Healthy Halloween Treats!
Thank you Whitney. It continues to amaze me what my mind is open to when I’m on or just off the mat. Clearly his words found a way to wedge his way into some place in my mind and it’s taken me a while to process it fully.
strong is the new skinny! I love feeling strong. I don’t think there is a better feeling in the world!
Danielle @ itsaharleyyylife recently posted..Fall Picking
I think being strong is such a compliment!
Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: Learning Experience or Being Competitive
I’m so glad he said that to you! My yoga instructor had to correct my form today, which I suppose is good. She said I’d get a lot more out of the sequence if I did. Good for you!
Missy | The Literal Mom recently posted..What’s Your Safe Place?
Thanks Missy. Everyone gets adjusted in class! I used to hate when instructors would adjust me but now I kind of love it. It’s amazing what one slight touch will do to make me so much more aware how my body’s alignment.
Aw friend! I am SO glad the instructor took a moment to share those words with you — sometimes it takes the words of a relative stranger to really step back and let those words sink in. YES — YOU are strong. YOU YOU YOU. I absolutely love that you’re embracing that fact more and more, not just physically but mentally too. I have been so blown away by how you handled your injury and comeback — to me, that epitomizes such mental fortitude. You got it girl, STRONG IS BEAUTIFUL!!
Jess recently posted..Training for 26.2 — through the eyes of the hubs
Wow. Thank you my friend. It’s so easy for me to compliment others and boost them up but my first instinct is to do the complete opposte for myself. His words totally gave me pause which is a good thing. You and Scott – well, that’s a whole different kind of strong right there.
Great post! Visiting from SITS! It’s great to hear a stranger affirm an area that we feel we are weak in – and your arms are awesome!
Andrea recently posted..5 Reasons Your Kindergartner Had a Bad Day
Thank you Andrea! Sometimes I think it does take a stranger to make us stop and really listen.
In true brutal honesty while I am much better about loving myself and who I am now there are still days I see myself as the fat girl everyone made fun of. It is this part of my that is great at giving compliments, but horrible at accepting them. I brush them off or change the subject.
Abby @ BackAtSquareZero recently posted..Middleton Place
Thanks Abby for sharing that. I know exactly what you mean – we internalize so much of what we hear growing up and it seeps its way into us in a way that’s really hard to let go, no matter how far we’ve come. I think that this experience totally reminded me of that or at least brought it out to the fore again. I’m trying to be better about accepting compliments, pausing to say thank you before I turn and run
You are super strong girl, your strength is one of the first things I noticed when I started reading your blog. Learning to surf, overcoming an injury, your knowledge, inner strength and those arms all add up to one strong woman. You are truly an inspiration and I am so happy your yoga instructor pointed out your strength.
About 20 years ago when I was starting in my career, an older female co-worker complimented me on my outfit. I answered with this old thing and went on to describe everything that was wrong with it. She told me in the future I needed to accept a compliment; they don’t come around as often as they should and from now on I was to answer every compliment with, “You are welcome.” To this day I have to bite my tongue not to say it was nothing or this old thing when receiving a compliment.
Thanks for a brilliant post.
Thank you so much for this. It truly means a lot to me. It’s often hard to see the strength within ourselves so I really appreciate your words. Your co-worker has some very smart words for you too. It’s true – compliments don’t come around very often and we should welcome them.