When I was little, my family used to vacation in Sanibel Island, Florida. I remember the pristine beaches and shells. I also remember my Dad bringing home conch to our condo and my Mom cooking it for dinner. I could totally be making that last bit up since I was only about four or five (or six?) years old and you know, kids like to embellish things.
I also remember venturing out into the ocean for a swim with my Dad. I remember a big wave coming and crashing over us and that somehow, I was stuck underwater. Then, my Dad pulled me up by the back of my bathing suit and I took a huge gasp of air.
While I practically lived in a pool when I was younger, I have never felt comfortable in the ocean, especially if there were waves crashing. I didn’t really think about this fear again until I stood on the beach before my first surf lesson. Clutching a surfboard and with a leash attached to my ankle, I stared out at the water. What in the world was I thinking?? How did this minor issue not occur to me when I agreed to go to surf camp?
But a funny thing happened. The absolute bliss of catching my first wave was so much more than my fear that I was willing to paddle out again and again to experience that euphoria. As I learned the basics about surfing and the mechanics of handling the board, I became more comfortable in the water. My coaches gave me some basic facts and armed me with the tools I needed to face my fear.
- Everyone falls. You will drink a gallon of saltwater and water will go up you nose. But that’s OK. When you do fall, it often feels like your underwater for a long time when in reality, you usually surface in 10 seconds.
- Your surfboard is buoyant and will always rise to the surface. You are attached to that surfboard by a leash so find your lease and start “climbing” it and you’ll reach the surface.
- But make sure that your ankle strap is free of sand so that it firmly and securely stays attached to your ankle!
- When in doubt, there’s always the safety position. This is a position you can take on your surfboard when you are in the impact zone or not yet beyond the point where the waves break – kind of a last resort. Basically, you slide down to the back of the board facing the beach and hold on tight. The waves will break over you but your surfboard acts like a big life-preserver (more or less) and prevents you from going under.
Photo courtesy of Surf Simply
Then, one time, I lost my surfboard. I paddled for a wave and started to take off but nose-dived. As I tumbled around in the white wash and counted to 10, I felt something tug on my leg and then go slack. My ankle strap ripped off and I lost my board. Panic set in because I didn’t have my safety line attached to my leg anymore.
My coach didn’t realize that I had lost my board and had taken off on a long left doing the fancy maneuvers that he does. I tried to catch my breath and calm down, diving under 2-3 breaking waves. But then what? How many more could I dive under? How was I going to get back to shore??? Eventually, my coach realized what happened and paddled over to me. He said, “Christine, I don’t think that you really need me to save you.” Umm, yes I do. Instead, he starts talking me through the situation and again giving me the skills to handle it.
I feel like this experience and losing my surfboard was a big turning point for me. I realized that managing my fear of the ocean is as much about having the skills to handle any situation in the water as it is about confidence and attitude. Once I started to break down my fear into manageable pieces and apply specific skills or tools that I had learned, I realized that my fear wasn’t so bad and, oftentimes just silly. I also realized that I could be closing myself off from amazing experiences by not facing my fears.
P.S. My coach made me swim back to shore myself. Tough love, I guess?
What are you afraid of? Have you conquered your fears? If not, what holds you back? Are you afraid of the ocean too??
{Linking up with Pour Your Heart Out at Things I Can’t Say}
I have always lived near the ocean – both growing up and as an adult — and have a healthy fear of the ocean as well. It’s kept me alive! So true about the board or boat being the key to safety or at least my sense of being buoyant, In my case, I paddleboard and kayak. How is your recovery coming along?
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Thanks for your comment and I meant to say that I too believe that it’s good to have a healthy fear of the ocean. The ocean is a force and needs to be respected and I think that so many people don’t realize that. It’s funny how you can substitute fear with taking comfort in something like a board or boat or wetsuit. When I was training for a triathlon, that wetsuit was like my security blanket.
Recovery is moving along albeit slowly. Hoping to get cleared to run in about a month and to get back in to the water this Fall. Trying to focus on rebuilding my strength and being patient with the process.
Love this post. Especially, “I also realized that I could be closing myself off from amazing experiences by not facing my fears.” And I love that pic of you, surfer girl!
I fear my PTSD and anxiety. but talking situations down in steps has helped me tremendously to handle anxiety attacks or wretched thoughts when they surface. and in that, i am trying to face my fear in doing new things. baby steps that will hopefully lead me to big leaps in accomplishing things off my bucket list. cuz my time is precious.
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haha! That’s the picture of me walking back to shore after the lost surfboard incident and trying to calm my nerves! I think that I’m saying, “You said that I would always have my board!!”
I wholeheartedly agree that by breaking things down into smaller pieces makes it seem more manageable or at least I can talk myself through it a lot easier. The fear of trying new things still surfaces for me but I guess that I’ve also gotten older and grumpier and don’t care as much if I make a fool out of myself. Unless it’s infront of a hot surf coach. Then that’s a different story
I love this and I need want and long for my BFF who is terrified of flying to see it.
Ill send her your way.
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Even though I LOVE the water (ocean, lake, river, pool) it does scare me to swim in it sometimes. I think that is what’s holding me back from trying surfing even though I’d love to. Your tips are right on. I’m taking baby steps to get there.
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I know exactly what you mean. I think it’s good to have a healthy fear of the ocean because frankly, it is a powerful force. But I think that the more we can understand how certain things work i.e. rips and currents, etc. we can be smarter about how we approach the open water. It’s still an unpredictable environment but surfing helped me understand it a bit more. Plus, when you do try surfing, having a good instructor also helps
It’s amazing how things like this, situations like this are our defining moments in life. The principals we learn, the fears we conquer transfer to other areas in life for all of our life.
Katie @wishandwhimsy recently posted..WIAW | Summer Staples
I love your comment Katie. It sounds so cliche to say that surfing changed my life but I do think that it was a defining moment for me in a lot of ways. But it’s like you say – it’s the principles that we learn in these situations and understanding how they can or do apply to other areas of our life which is important.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! what we close ourselves off to because of fear! Beautiful post. I am so glad you have found surfing despite those fears.
I used to vacation in Sanibel Island too! It was so pristine!
ilene recently posted..The (In)Finite Sadness
I love that you used to vacation in Sanibel too! I have really fond memories of our trips down there. It’s funny. I feel like when we went to Costa Rica, it was almost like I had something to prove (not in a great place at the time) and I think that may have contributed to my ability to try to kind of face my fears. There’s so much around us that we can be afraid of but we can’t live in a bubble either just to protect ourselves or those around us, you know?
Amazing post! Love the basic facts your Coach gave you too! By conquering our fears, we open ourselves up to a world we never knew existed! Great job Christine!
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Thanks Kierston. My coach totally looked me in the eye like, “Are you kidding? Why are you freaking out? You can swim.” Oops
I totally posted about fears today too lol! Good job for hanging in there, surfing looks so hard!
Heather recently posted..August Lookback & Getting Over Your fear
Great minds think alike! Loved your post too. Look how far we’ve come.
Confession…I have a fear of the ocean. Kinda. It’s more a fear of all the dang sharks that keep popping up near the beach!! Not my cup of tea, man, not my cup of tea. (Craziness: I almost became a marine biologist. Ha.)
I think you’re absolutely right about breaking down your fear into manageable pieces. Facing something head-on can be overwhelming, because you’re so focused on beating the fear that you don’t give yourself the patience to do so. Does that make sense? It becomes so rushed…so single-focused. Like a big goal…it needs to be broken down.
PS: I lived in the FL Keys…I was born there…and cooking conch? Happened all the time.
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You know, of all the things that I’m afraid of about the ocean, sharks aren’t one of them. I have no idea why. I mean, I know that they are out there and totally real but I guess that feels more like a remote possibility to me. Your comment totally makes sense and I love the comparison to breaking down big goals. And, I’m glad that I wasn’t making up that whole conch story
Awesome post! My leash snapped when I was surfing near Biarritz one summer. Scary feeling, when the tug on your ankle suddenly goes slack. A kind German surfer who was right behind me paddling out back came to my rescue and gave me a ride back into shore. Sounds like you handled yourself really well. Good for you!
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Thank Mary! I think it was probably the scariest thing when I felt the tug on my ankle go slack. It made me realize how little you are with just your head bobbing up above the water. I didn’t think that anyone was going to see me! Fingers crossed that we both don’t go through that again any time soon!
This is an awesome post. I will read and re-read this post when it comes to facing my own fears. My mother also has a fear of sorts. She’s not afraid of the ocean necessarily, she’s afraid of any body of water where she cannot see the bottom. Totally understandable. I will just have to learn how to apply this to my fear of spiders. ICK!
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I totally understand the fear of water where you can’t see the bottom. I definitely experience that when trying to do an open water swim. I like the comfort and security of seeing a black lane line at the bottom of the pool. Unfortunately, I think that spiders are a different story!!
I feel the exact same way about the ocean. I’m a swimmer, did swim team up through high school. But never will the ocean be like that to me. I think getting caught and sharks is a big thing of it but maybe one day that’ll all change.
Stopping by from Shell’s PYHO
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Hi Julie! Thanks for visiting. I think for me, I take so much comfort in seeing the black lane line at the bottom of the pool. Without that, I feel so disoriented. It’s funny though but sharks have never really factored into it for me but maybe it should!
I’ve always been weary about the ocean, but not to the point where it’s stopped me from going in it and bouncing around. I love how your coach made you swim back to shore by yourself, just because I feel like that’s how I get over my fears. I need to just do it and show myself that it IS possible to not curl into a ball and be scared. So brave.
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I’m glad that he made me swim back too. Once he started talking me through all the skills I already had, it helped me realize that I could do it. Then we started having fun with it and I tried to bodysurf on the way in – stark contrast to 10 minutes prior!
The undertow of the ocean is a force of nature not to be taken lightly. I can understand your fears. Props to you for conquering them! I don’t have any large fears. Phobia of snakes, yes…but that is WAY beyond just fear =)
Heidi @BananaBuzzbomb recently posted..Adventure Is My Middle Name
OMG I totally get the snake thing. That’s just like primal fear. And yes, I totally meant to say that it’s important to have a healthy fear and respect of the ocean. You are absolutely right – the undertow and currents should not be taken lightly.
I live right next to the ocean, but must admit that I have a fear of visiting it. Mine is a bit different – a fear of the sun and the beach and my propensity to end up with skin cancer and have more chunks of skin cut off. However, I worry that my fear is holding me back. I loved reading your piece because it made me realize that sometimes we just must do the best we can and learn that we can make it, we can have fun, but still be capable of saving ourselves.
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Thanks for sharing that Abby. I think that there’s a distinction between having a healthy fear and a debilitating fear. Debilitating might be too strong of a word but you get my drift. I think that it’s important to have a healthy fear of things like the ocean and skin cancer because those are real and powerful things. But I think you’re right – we have to do the best we can and yes, we will make it and have fun and be safe.
I am impressed that you ventured into surfing despite having a fear of the ocean. Good for you! Sounds like your coach was preparing you well to be able to handle anything on your own. I still have a healthy fear of the ocean, but have been learning to face it this summer with some open water swimming and it’s empowering. Great post, Christine!
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Laura – open water swimming is a whole other beast for me. The first time that I tried it, I literally was paralyzed and was gasping for breath. I totally wasn’t expecting that! Similar thing happened during my actual triathlon and it took me a bit of floating on my back and hanging on a kayak to calm down. And then I was fine but it’s frustrating at times!
AMAZING POST as always chickie! Fear can hold you back or it can be empowering – you choose! Way to work it!
PS I love your new layout!
Krysten Siba Bishop (@darwinianfail) recently posted..#WIAW – Grilled Chicken Salad with Peanut Sauce
Thanks Krysten!! I’m kind of loving my new layout. It’s like a new toy
Definitely tough love… tough love that may become useful one day, hopefully not, but now you are prepared on how to handle it. Great post.
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I hope that I never have to put those skills to use ever again. Just saying.
I love the ocean! I am afraid to do some things I’ve always wanted to. Like sky dive or bungee jump. But, now that I’m a mom, I’m too scared that something will happen to me. Stopping by from PYHO.
adrienne recently posted..Serenity Now!
Yes, I’ve been thinking about that a lot too – how my fears and inhibitions have changed since I’ve become a parent. It definitely changes the risks that I’m willing and that I want to take.
What a great lesson to learn- sounds like you had a great teacher!
Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: Healthy Choices Taught at Home or School?
I think I’m most afraid of the unknown. Sometimes it can be very paralyzing. I love this post. It hits so close to home.
Katie @momslrb recently posted..Looking in the Rearview Mirror
Your coach sounds amazing! I’m so glad he made you save yourself!
It’s funny, because I never thought of my leash as a life-line…I mean, I thought it was good to keep my board attached to me so that I didn’t have to go swimming/running after it when I tumbled, but I never thought of my board as keeping me safe. It’s all about perception!
Also, I’m afraid of the ocean as well!
It is a lot about perception, isn’t it? Thinking about my board and leash as a life line made me so much more comfortable going into the water initially but when it wasn’t there? ohmygosh panic! I had definitely come to rely on it as much as a life preserver. But what’s heartening to me is hearing that there are lots of folks, and surfers, out there who are afraid of the ocean too.
I am not so much afraid of the ocean ….but know what the ocean is capable of and respect it’s power! I do get afraid when a wave lifts me to high and I’m looking over the lip… And that’s all do to a wipe out prob 2 years ago… On a 4 ft wave… Which at the time seemed so much bigger!Even though I still surf on a regular basis… Sometimes that fear from that one wipeout still holds me back!
Definitely fear from one bad wipeout or one bad incident can stick with you for a long time. I know exactly what you mean about respecting the power and force of the ocean. In that sense, it’s good to have a healthy fear of it. You know what really gets my heart racing? Paddling out and you see a set coming in and that point where you’re deciding whether or not to just turtle roll (and know that it’s going to take more effort to get out) or paddle up and over. Waves definitely seem much bigger when you are out in the water for sure!
Christine, your story about loosing your board reminds me of the time my leg rope snapped. I was paddling for a wave and it picked up behind me quite quickly then next thing I know I am tumbling around in the surf and then a couldn’t feel my board anymore. I still had the strap around my ankle but no more board! It was along swim! I find when I am in the surf esp stuff thats a bit big, it the “hold down” from a strong wave that tends to get me a bit panicky. Sometimes I think I am going to run out of breath, but somehow I don’t and always come back up but I do have those moments of panic! Bron
Oh Bron, I hear you! Losing your board is no fun! Seriously, I was treading water thinking how in the world am I supposed to swim back?? The hold down definitely freaks me out. I try to stay calm but sometimes it’s hard! I feel the same when I do turtle rolls and need/want to get back above water and on my board. But you’re right, you’re usually under less time than you think you are.
Love this post! I too have a fear of the ocean (and yet, have found myself surfing, kayaking, and all kinds of other crazy things out there). Rising above your fears can be so scary but also exhilarating!
Tricia recently posted..Remember this time
Good story. The older I get the more I recognize how I never face my fears. I guess I will just have to start submitting some writing for rejection! And your coach? Sounds like he will make or is a great father.
Laura @ Pruning Princesses recently posted..Happy Birthday and A Giveaway!
Thank you so much. I guess that the big realization for me was that there was nothing to lose or that I was just being silly. I’m still working on getting over my fear of rejection of my writing submissions too! Yeah, I think that my coach will make a great father.
Great article! I love the fact that you figured out that you *could* do this after all, especially when you made it less scary and smaller. Very wise advice for all of us!
Happy SITS day!
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Thank you so much and thank you for visiting on my SITS Day!
What a powerful post. I feel like I can go out and conquer my fear (of the laundry) right now. I can’t help but love inspiriting stories like this. I would love for my kiddos to watch their mama doing something so brave, too! (added bonus).
Thanks so much Angi! I hope that you faced your laundry fears
Thanks so much for visiting on my SITS Day!
Great post, feels like I can do anything right now, lol! Thanks for sharing, visiting from SITS, happy SITS day!
Enjoy every moment of it!
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Thank you so much for making my SITS Day so great!
Wow! What a story! This is hitting close to home for me. My daughter is currently taking surfing in college and I have been trying not to worry myself sick about her in the ocean. I was concerned about sharks and her first time out, she was stung by a sting ray! Sheesh. Happy SITS Day!
Paula @ Simply Sandwich recently posted..A Special Project to Tackle
Oh my goodness! It’s funny, of all the things, I haven’t been worried about the actual animals that live in the ocean! Is your daughter enjoying surfing? My mother was really worried about me too but it truly is an amazing experience. I wish that I had the opportunity to take it up in college like your daughter. Thank you for visiting on my SITS Day!
I used to body surf and loved it. Never with a surf board–too poor back in the day. I will never forget the first day our two year old was on the beach, she ran for the whole day. Such joy. I have a fear of heights. I wasn’t always afraid, just kind of crept up on me. If there’s a window, I’m fine, but I look at most scenic sites from the far side of our car. I conquered a bit of the fear with a road trip to Big Sur. I was able to drive the Bixby Bridge and enjoy the experience. Enjoy your SITS Day.
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I love watching my kids run at the beach too. And that fear of heights? That’s also crept up on my as I’ve gotten older. Driving Highway 1 along Big Sur is no joke! That’s a beautiful but kind of nerve-wracking drive! Thanks for visiting on my SITS Day!
What a great learning experience. Thanks for sharing it. Having someone there to talk you through a difficult time but trust in your ability to handle it yourself kind of reminds me of therapy. I have to do the work, but I’ve got a coach there to help and believe in me. It matters.
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Thank you Robin for your comment. Afterwards, I felt really grateful to have someone there by my side who recognized my ability and strength – something that I know I don’t do enough for myself. It definitely does matter to have folks who believe in you. Thanks so much for visiting on my SITS Day.
I learned to be afraid of the ocean as a child too. But my fear was born from watching Jaws much too young! I’m not afraid of the water or drowning, but of WHAT lives in the water! Happy SITS day
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My older brother was terrified after watching Jaws and would have nightmares about Jaws chasing after him at night! Thanks so much for stopping by on my SITS Day!!
It’s funny, but I am afraid of the ocean and my mom is a championship surfer! She has tried to teach me to surf so many times, but I am too scared even now. Someday she’s going to teach my kids and I’m going to be sitting on the beach, covering my eyes every time they go under!
I’ve conquered other fears in life, but not that one. The ocean is just so powerful!
Christa the BabbyMama recently posted..Remember How I Said I’ve Been Working On a Project
The ocean is really powerful and I think that it’s good to have a healthy fear of it. But your mother is a championship surfer??! Can she teach me??
I grew up in LA and spent a lot of time at the beach, but I never liked to venture out too far. It is definitely scary! I went to Hawaii on my honeymoon and was less scared because the water was more clear and I could see the bottom. I think a lot of my fear personally is the unknown!
Mo @ The Baby Is Fine recently posted..Just Another Manic Monday…
It’s so interesting because so many people have mentioned the fear of the things living in the ocean whereas that didn’t even occur to me! Hmmm…Thanks so much for helping to make my SITS Day so fun.
I love the water and the ocean… however I am terrified of drowning…. usually I just need to either stay where I can touch bottom or have some sort of floaty with me (if I have a pool noodles I’ll stay in the lake all day long) this summer I had a surfing lesson during a trip to hawaii and loved it! Though you’re right… I did drink a gallon of seawater!
Happy SITS Day!
~Sara
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Thanks Sara for stopping by on my SITS Day! I’m with you on the fear of drowning. Even though I know how to swim and am a fairly strong swimmer, I still am worried that I will drown – even in the pool sometimes! It’s crazy.
I really need to conquer my fear of swimming. I was signed up for lessons at the YMCA about five-ish years ago; I thought I did pretty well in the beginning few classes until my instructor told me that I was good to swim on my own and on my first attempt I panicked because I kept saying to myself wait I don’t know how to swim; I never went back after that… I keep meaning to though… any advice?
Stopping by from SITS
DjRelAt7 recently posted..Do you often think about doing something for others?
I think the thing with swimming, especially learning as an adult, is that it’s so much about confidence. I can understand panicking on your first attempt. I would suggest taking some more lessons with an instructor and building up your confidence again. When you do go to swim by yourself again, try to focus on each step i.e. your arm stroke and kick versus OMG I have to swim to the other end. Or try to focus on taking 5 strokes and then stop and build up from there. Hope that helps and makes sense.
Thanks for visiting on my SITS Day!
Fear of the ocean. I’m pretty much content to get in up to my knees! I used to love the water as a child – we used to have a boat, we’d go out on the lakes up here in western NY and Canada. We would vacation in the Outer Banks, and I was never afraid to get in there with my boogie board. But something happened in high school or college. Not sure what it was – maybe just the realization of all the dangers. I stopped going in past where I could stand, and even now I had a hard time going past my knees. I’m somewhat sad that I’m not as adventurous as I once was. I don’t mind kayaking though – is calm, shallow waters. I guess I get to enjoy the water enough! Stopping by from SITS! Loving your blog!
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Thanks Jolene for sharing your story and for helping to make my SITS Day so great!! I know what you mean. I feel like I developed all these fears as I have gotten older because I think too much about them! But kayaking is a pretty beautiful way to enjoy the water.
Congrats on the feature today!!
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Thanks Ali!